For Harddaway, the answer was quite simple: “Baby don’t hurt me.” It might not seem too obvious at first, but Haddaway had already resumed love stories to the very best. When you love, you get hurt. This is inevitable. No love story is perfect and each one of them has its fair share of deceit and forgiveness.
You cannot love and not be hurt. Show me someone who has loved and not be hurt; I’ll show you someone who has loved only partly. When you love you give yourself fully to the other person. You abandon yourself, become ready to make compromises. Yes, love has the capacity to change the most selfish and egocentric person.
Why? It’s the desire to please, the willingness to unravel oneself. To become bare and surrender. Doing so, also gives the other person power over you. Power to love you unconditionally or power to annihilate you.
Unfortunately, one does not come without the other. If they love you; they are going to hurt you. Maybe not out of sheer malice, but it will happen. Sometimes, you hurt yourself too while loving. You have expectations of how the person should be. You build castles about the dreams they sell to you. You believe their every word. You start believing they ain’t this, they ain’t that. In the end, you realise they are human too, they make mistakes, they bleed and most importantly they ain’t the picture perfect person you believed.
At this point, you have two choice, walk away or stay. Both come with their fair share of forgiveness. Forgiving him and forgiving yourself. If you decide to stay, it could be the most beautiful love story ever. You could learn from your mistakes and make everything alright. Or it could become nightmarish, you could get tangled up into a whirlwind of ‘am sorry it won’t happen again.’ Until it actually does happen again. You find yourself forgiving over and over without being able to leave.
If you walk away, you you are giving yourself the chance to discover new people, to love again. But this is usually frightening. You are afraid of starting again, getting out of your comfort zone ans maybe of society’s views on you. It’s okay though. If it’s tough it usually means it’s worth it. Take the leap, better lose a few years you’ve spent with someone than spend a lifetime trying to love the wrong one.
Whatever, path you choose; I wish you happiness. If you are going to love, it’s going to hurt at times. During those times, reflecting if the pain is worth saving the relationship is necessary.
Until next time,